As for Spain, while there are strong family ties there, it's no different than growing up Italian American in the northeast United States. At the family level. I don't think this has much to do with the public social life.
That's not correct. The family ties, ties with the kids you grew up with, the people in the neighborhood who you grew up with, your local community etc in Spain are all far beyond what you would imagine them to be in the US, including Italian Americans. It is so across the Mediterranean, its even more so in Spain. You get to be 50 years old, you are still a child to your 75 years old parents while your 65 years old uncle still treats you as if you are 15 years old. There is nothing 'abnormal' in that. People are not expected to 'manage physical and emotional distance from their parents', and those who 'manage' that would be seen as disaffectionate and antisocial. People miss their parents if they are away, they talk to each other through phone daily, except in dysfunctional families. Even families that live live in the same neighborhood can be talking to each other on the phone every day, before seeing each other at dinner.
And a lot of the social relations derive from the interlinked relationships, familiar ties, half a century old friendships in a locale, and even across different cities. Friends know friends through friends who knew those friends long before them or through their cousins etc. All these phenomenon get increasingly more prominent from central Spain towards the south.
In Spain, you would be easily expected to attend and help those in your community, including the old people in your building or neighborhood, especially in smaller towns, leaving aside villages. Even in your average working class (you call that 'middle class' in the US) neighborhoods. While it would not be similar to taking care of incapable parents at home, it does not seem to be compatible with your what seems to be a libertine mindset that wants freedom and socially inclusive environment, but without having to oblige by social norms, conventions and obligations. As a result, "I have parents that need care at home and I could have taken care of them but I left them to their devices because I want to be free" is something that would alienate you from a lot of people in Spain. There seems to be considerable gaps in between your current knowledge of the Spanish culture and the actual Spanish culture.
